The Drought by Steven Scaffardi

The Drought

 

This is a reblog as the this book is up for an award!!!!!!!  It’s also a free download if you want to read it yourself. Underneath is the advertising stuff that I received from Steven, enjoy!

Print

This book really is the Laddiest lad book of all lad books in lad publishing land that I’ve come across so far!  I can see it as a ‘Carry on’ for 2012. The hapless Dan (and aren’t all lad lit main characters so?)  is on a quest for sex having gone without for a long time. He lurches from misadventure to disaster, being dumped, disastrous road trips  beaten up, given bad advice by his best mates (real Job’s comforters) , and as in the genre of Chick lit it turns out the answer was at his front door all the time.  Plenty of male angst, embarrassing body stuff , truly cringeworthy run ins with the gay community.  There is a semblance of just deserts at the end,  living the results of such a completely amoral run of adventures! You could read it as a guide of how not to start a relationship.

As a woman reviewer, I can imagine plenty of laddish guffaws and sniggering  but for me it just all a bit too near the knuckle (I’m probably a generation or two out).  Were the lads when I was a teenager thinking like this?  Flippin eck!

Like Steven the author says, Lads, I think you’ll love it, ladies I think it’ll make you look aghast at your man and wonder………

 

19 SEPTEMBER 2013

PRESS RELEASE

The Drought is shortlisted in the Shirley You Jest book awards:

Celebrate with a FREE download of Steven Scaffardi’s hilarious lad lit novel

 

The hilarious lad lit dating disaster novel The Drought by Steven Scaffardi has been made available to download for FREE on the back of last months announcement that it had made the shortlist for the Shirley You Jest book awards.

 

The Drought will be available to download on all ebook readers on Smashwords up until November 1, 2013 – the date when the winner of the Shirley You Jest book awards will be announced.

 

Author Steven Scaffardi said: “I’m absolutely thrilled that The Drought has made the final four in the Shirley You Jest book awards!”

 

“The feedback from readers and reviewers over the last 12 months has been incredible so a free download seemed like a nice way of celebrating!”

 

The Drought is the laugh-out-loud tale of one man’s quest to overcome the throes of a sexual drought. After the stormy break-up with his girlfriend of three years, Dan Hilles is faced with the daunting task of throwing himself back into the life of a single man. With the help of his three best pals, Dan is desperate and determined to get his leg-over with hilarious consequences!

 

How to download The Drought for free

Visit ebook self-publishing and distribution platform Smashwords at the link below and use the code LF63C prior to check-out to receive your free download (valid until November 1, 2013):

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/253635

 

About Shirley You Jest!

Based out of the US, the Shirley You Jest book awards is the only comedy and humour indie book contest offering publicity-based awards. The Drought joins Murder on the First Day of Christmas by Billie Thomas, Baby Bumps by Amy Sprenger, and In Need of Therapy by Tracie Banister in the final with the winner being announced on November 1, 2013.

 

 

The Drought

Dan Hilles is a pretty regular kind of guy – regular job, regular bunch of mates, regular male aversion to shopping. But following his break-up with long-term girlfriend, Stacey, he finds himself single again. He’s been out of the game for a while and is a little out of practice. Soon, the very irregular and increasingly worrying issue in Dan’s life is the extended drought he finds himself suffering. And we’re not talking the climate change, scorched earth, God I’m parched variety.

 

You’ve got to hand it to Dan though – it certainly isn’t from a lack of trying. With stalwart mates Ollie, Jack and Rob on hand to lend their collective pearls of male wisdom and arrange the odd road trip, you’d think Dan’s days of languishing in a sexual wilderness would be numbered. You’d think…

 

Even best friends can’t help prevent the kind of surreal holes Dan just can’t seem to help digging himself into. And with each failed attempt, his self-esteem plummets to the point where he wonders if ‘little Dan’ will ever work again.

 

Good job he has Kelly, his reliable and sympathetic colleague, to confide in. As a woman, she can perhaps shed some female light on why he’s failing so miserably with the opposite sex, balancing out the testosterone-fuelled ‘advice’ from the lads. Surely Dan can’t go wrong with Kelly teaching him the various intricacies of a woman’s mind. You’d think…

 

Steven Scaffardi’s first novel will have every guy laughing out loud in recognition and every girl secretly worrying – is this how men really think? A new talent to watch out for on the ‘lad-lit’ scene.

 

Praise & Reviews

“Steven Scaffardi’s first novel is absolutely hilarious and will leave every reader, male or female, laughing out loud.”

– Chick Lit Plus

 

“A pleasantly darker alternative to the offerings of Mike Gayle. All hail the arrival of Steven Scaffardi.”

Ortis Deley | Television & Radio Presenter

 

“I laughed so much I spat my tea out!”

– BestBooksToRead.com

 

“The Drought by Steven Sca­ffardi is a funny and cyn­i­cal novel because…hold onto your hats… it mostly rings true!”

– Shirley You Jest book awards judge

 

“WARNING – This book will make you cry… with laughter! The perfect gift for the lad in your life!”

– BCF Book Review

 

“Witty, well-written, and pulls no punches!”

Angellica Bell | Television & Radio Presenter

 

Meet the characters

 

Dan Hilles: Dan is the unlucky in love main protagonist of The Drought. He hasn’t just forgotten how to talk to women, he has suffered an extreme case of amnesia when it comes to even being in the same vicinity of the fairer sex.

 

Jack Chatham: Jack is a happy-go-lucky cheeky-chappy who always has something to say, and most of the time it will be totally un-PC! He is the joker of the pack; full of banter and sarcasm, and is a firm believer in cheesy chat-up lines.

 

Rob Devlin: Rob Devlin is one of those super-cool, good-looking, smooth-talking guys who girls fall over themselves to get to. He oozes charm and charisma, and can turn on his sensitive side when he needs to, yet remains ‘one of the lads‘.

 

Ollie Pemberton: Ollie is a bit of a throwback to old-school man. What he lacks in brains, he more than makes up for in brawn. When he is not in the gym beefing up, he can be found in the pub; pint in one hand, cigarette in the other!

 

Meet the author

After being forced to endure yet another rom-com by his wife, Steven Scaffardi decided that enough was enough and it was time to tell the story about relationships from a man’s point of view!

 

Born and raised in south London, Steven is a former journalist. In 2011 he spent a year gigging on the London open mic stand-up comedy circuit, finishing runner-up in the Golden Jester comedy competition.

 

His debut novel The Drought has been receiving fantastic feedback from readers on sites such as Goodreads, and he is currently working on his second novel The Flood.

 

He can be contacted for interviews and comment at steven.scaffardi@gmail.com or on 07540 280766, or click one of the links below to interact via social media:

 

Blogger: http://stevenscaffardi.blogspot.co.uk/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SteveScaffardi

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StevenScaffardiAuthorAndComedian

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/Scaff7

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5162103.Steven_Scaffardi

An eBook Rant!

Tom                                            Ducks! Romantic Short Stories for Animal Lovers

Pictures of my books for a change!!!!!!!!

As my blog says, most of me books are picked up off the free book list on Amazon, mostly the German one.  Most are well presented  but some send me to despair as it’s obviuos the author really has no idea how the book presents on a KIndle, and recently I’ve picked up some which seem to be photocopied sheets, which you can’t enlarge and so are unreadable – although I do only have a basic KIndle. Ok, so they are a bit better on the PC Kindle, but they’re still difficult to read.  The most recent being Christian Meditations by Tyng, Self Training in Christian Meditation by Rushton Burr  and the Duden Schulgrammatik Englisch.

The event of the 50 Shades of grey spawned a huge rise in the porn, and rip offs, the best was 50 Shades of Wey, which was about beer, thankfully these are dying down. It’s amazing how the classics are always there, such a Jane Eyre, David Copperfield, Robinson Crusoe, I bet someone is wishing they had bought the publishing rights.  Some people seem to have left their book permanently on the free lists.  There’s also a rise of collections of several books, and these can be infuriating as when you read the book details, all there is are more ads for more books!

This also led in a rise of book covers with models posing a scene from the book, some a bit near the knuckle for my own taste, but I always associate these pictures with being a tacky MIlls and Boon type book, so I rarely look beyond the cover. The Chick lits still seems to have drawn/painted covers, but they seem to be coming less and less on the lists.

There are now specific eBook publishers, and for these I hold my main rant. So often you think you are picking up a novel (and It doesn’t say not so on the cover or details, just on the contents list and who looks at these – obviuosly not me), only to find a novella which then has a third of another book as a taster. There is one English firm who is a culprit on this -should I name names? It’s great in some ways, at least it helps with the marketing but………. I find it infuriating, and when I looked at the website, I see they ask specifically for novellas (money making) but also have slave labour interns, which explains some of the unprofessional proofing that is in some, e,g Wendy Lewis’s Town and Country.

The main difference, is the rise of the Novella, no bad thing, but please cough up on the page that its so!

It’s all a grwoing market, and obviuosly, I’m looking at the amatuer end, there are some gems, and I’ll keep on being a skinflint!

Sunlight on my Shadow by Judy Liautaud

Sunlight on My Shadow

Not looking properly, when I downloaded this book, I missed the bit saying it was a memoir and after a few pages and photos, the penny dropped.  Not my usual thing, but the story pulled me in.  I identified with so much that the teenager Judy went through – but not the pregnancy I hasten to say!  The guilt of actions, the fear of pregnancy, the way a teenager handles life, with courage and a certain amount of naivety and blindness.  I was thrilled when Judy did find her daughter (SPOILER; SORRY), but that it was how things are, nit everyone is a messed up case because they are adopted.

The effect of the Catholic church and the stupidity of its rules about sin (not made up by God, but man), was so familiar too.  However, what I liked was how Judy found the Holy Spirit and finally finds the spiritual direction that we all look for in our lives.  Wonderful, a real  account of finding  the reality of God and no preaching. Wonderful!

The Wedding Cake tree by Melanie Hudson

The Wedding Cake Tree

One thing that really shone through in this book is that the author knows and loves the places she writes about, it goes to prove that you must always write about your passions in life.  Being an orphan too, I was interested to read a story of a daughter’s reconciliation with her dead mother, and this story made me see the sadness and bitterness in my own mother’s life and how our relationship could have been so much otherwise….

Nuff said, I guzzled this bittersweet story as Alasdair and Grace made their own personal journeys as Grace followed her mother’s.  The only thing that jarred was Grace and the unknown man at the river, it was all too easy to guess at who he would be.   It niggled away as I felt it was unnecessary and a bit out of kilter with the rest of the narrative at that point. I thought it would still have had the same effect if she hadn’t remembered him at all.  However, when she does realise who her odd man was, it does somehow work.

The jump at Chapter three to the account of Grace’s childhood running through to the account of the time around the death  didn’t quite hang with me technically. Maybe it should have had a separate time and date like the rest of the sections then it might have worked better. Maybe it’s the mix of timescales.

However, these blips didn’t spoil a thoroughly good read.

Cocoa and Chanel by Donna Joy Usher

Cocoa and Chanel (Book One in the Chanel Series)

I think this year must be my year for reading loads of books by the same authors!

Must admit this was a first timer for me, in that I don’t usually read detective type novels, so I’m not at all used to the genre.  But enjoy it I did.  Chanel grows from an impulsive and naive hair dresser into an impulsive and naive Policewomen, but who has toughened and grown up. I thought maybe the training sequence didn’t quite fit with the story, but as this is the first of a series, there may be a justification for it, and this seems to be Donna’s style.

Cocoa the dog, does manage to steal the scene a couple of times,  a great warning about feeding dogs pizza! One thing, being a doggy person I felt that  with that Cocoa is left shut in a flat all day while Chanel is on duty,it  makes him seem more like a toy, wasn’t so happy with that! (YES; I know he’s not real).

Still the humour was so present, maybe less than the first book, but the funniest bit is when Chanel meets the ladies in the night club, I say no more!  I did suss the killer, but  maybe I’ve watched too many  Frosts/Wycliffe/Bergerac episodes!

I’m looking forward to the next installment, it’s a great funny romp, have fun!